Hopeless for You (Crenny)
by Crenny
Summary: Craig Tucker is a seventeen year old finishing his last year of high school. He doesn't care about anyone (except for his guinea pig, Stripe) and he's quite happy that way. Until one little event opens up an entirely unwanted set of feelings. A set of feelings he had been try to deny for years.
1. Chapter 1

My name, is Craig Tucker.

Depending on who you asked, people will either tell you I'm a rude, boring asshole or a total bitch who flips everyone off. I agree with both. I don't exactly go out of my way to brighten people's days and if you piss me off I'm going to flip you off. No reason, it's just how the universe works. So yeah, I'm kind of a dick.

I've lived in South Park, Colorado since I was born and seventeen years later, everything's still shit. Pretty much everyone who lived here before is still living here now. It's like once you're here you can't get out. The fucking place latches onto you like a bloodthirsty leech. The random-ass stuff that happens because of that shithead, Cartman and his gang, is still going on - except absolutely no one cares anymore. It stopped being funny when they turned twelve.

Cartman, (or Eric Cartman (literally no one calls him 'Eric' because it's creepy as fuck)) is a racist, homophobic, manipulative, fat asshole and I have no idea why anyone in their right mind would even consider being his friend. I've got a theory that he's blackmailing them, because why else would they still hang around? He's got the brain of a serial killer and he would probably destroy more people's lives than he already has if he wasn't such a pussy. In fact the only reason people ever approach me is to get me to beat him up since nothing he can ever do or say will affect me. No one ever objects to these fights (not even the teachers) and they're usually over within five minutes (make reference to his tiny dick and you've won the war). He hates me so much for his reason (the feelings mutual), but he can never find anyway to get back at me.

Stan Marsh and his 'super best friend' (more like 'super gay friend' - I'm pretty sure they're screwing), Kyle Brovflovski, are part of the gang that follows Cartman everywhere. Stan seems like a nice person and I've spoken to him a couple of times when he decided it would be rude to pretend I didn't exist while he waited for his boyfriend (whoops, 'super best friend'). He's fairly easy to talk to since he's super popular and all but I wouldn't consider him a friend. There was rumour going around for a while that he was suffering from severe depression from fourth grade through to eighth grade. Whether or not he got over that yet, I couldn't tell you but I don't exactly care that much to go and find out. I'm assuming he's fine now.

Kyle is probably the most studious student at South Park Senior High School. Spelling Bee champion, Mathlete, you name it and he's probably a part of it. He's also extremely resilient since he puts up with Cartman's stupid comments about him being Jewish all the fucking time. I think the only time I spoke to him in the last couple of years was when he congratulated me on beating Cartman in a fight. I can't even remember what it was about - probably insulted somebody again, but Kyle was one of the first to thank me and congratulate me. Pretty nice guy, I guess.

The final idiot (sorry, 'friend') from Cartman's gang is Kenny McCormick, the poor, perverted weirdo. Like Kyle, Cartman rips on Kenny for being poor all the time (resulting in a black eye for Cartman, you would've thought he would've figured it out by now. He's as stupid as he is fat). I'm pretty sure I've never properly spoken to Kenny because he's really hard to hear due to the fact that he's always covered by some stupid orange parka. I don't even know how it still fits him as he's had it since preschool. Maybe his family has like five orange parkas for each growth spurt. Kenny's like the typical bad boy in the gang. He smokes (so do I), is always trying to find new ways to get high and skips school (probably to bang some random hot chick). I want to call him a douche, but I barely know him so I'll just label him as undecided.

I only have three people I consider my friends. Tweak Tweek, Clyde Donovan and Token Black. We all share our hatred of Cartman and I guess that's what bought this group together. Tweak is a coffee addicted blond kid who's hair is always a mess, clothes are never buttoned properly and constantly twitching. Most kids think he's a freak but if you're patient and start to listen to him he's actually a really decent guy. Sure he yells a lot and goes off on long tangents about underpants gnomes or something (don't ask), but that's just him.

Clyde Donovan is the schools biggest player and an even bigger crybaby. A strange combination and even stranger friend material, I know. He's always tracking down the 'hottest chicks', taking them out and about (probably bangs a few) and then dumping their asses a week later when he finds a new girl. Clyde's fine if he's the one doing the dumping but if a girl dumps him we're in for hell. He'll cry for ages and ages going on about how she's the only one he ever loved and other stupid shit like that. It's a complete pain in the ass to deal with but as soon as he finds another girl, all previous heartbreak is forgotten and we're off the hook again. When he's not being a playboy asshole or a crying pussy, he can be quite helpful. He's always trying to get people to talk about their problems and shit (girl).

Finally, there's Token Black. Token is rich as fuck but he isn't a dick about it. To be honest he could probably be doing much better things with much better people, but he still chooses to hang around with us. He doesn't try and ram him money down our throats but if someone needs it, he's always there in the back ground - quietly offering them some of his money while assuring them he doesn't need it payed back. I'll never accept his money but I respect the fact that he wants to look out for all of us. Out of them all I think he keeps us all in line. Reminding us of our morals and getting us back from parties in taxis when we're pissed as hell. We couldn't ask for a truer friend (fuck, that was sappy).

That's all that really matters right now and I've been thinking a lot about what matters. Why? Because tomorrow is the first day of my final year of high school and once I finish I can leave this shit town and start over somewhere else with the people I actually like.


	2. Chapter 2

The annoying tune of my alarm broke through the cold morning air, notifying the whole damn world that is was 7:00am. It was some stupid default tone because I could not be fucked changing it. Groaning, I reached over and hit the snooze button before rolling onto my back and rubbing my eyes. "Too fucking bright, too fucking early, too many fucking stupid people," I grumbled, shutting my eyes again. A squeak from the cage of my guinea pig, Stripe, who was in his cage on my dresser, interrupted my complaining. Reaching over, I unmatched the cage door and gently lifted his furry brown and black body out and placed him on my chest. "Morning, Stripe," I murmured, smiling as he squeaked and nestled down between the covers and my stomach. He was the only person (yes, I consider him as one) that I actually like and I knew anything I told him would be kept safe. Though if people from school knew I confided in my guinea pig, I would get so much shit for it.

For the second time that morning my alarm went off. It was now 7:15 and I must've rolled on my side when I fell back to sleep as Stripe was now lying fast asleep on the mattress, curled up against my stomach. I reached over and turned my alarm off before gently petting him. He squeaked slightly, screwing up his eyes and nuzzled into my stomach again. "You have to go back to your own bed," I said softly, picking him up and placing him back in his cage. He nestled down into the straw and fell back to sleep. Boy, did I envy him.

"Craig!" Screeched my fourteen year old sister Ruby, crashing into my room. Her red hair was loose and she was already dressed for school.

"Out!" I growled, throwing the covers over my head.

"Get the fuck up and get dressed, shithead. The bus will be here in five minutes, the schedule changed - remember?" I threw the covers back and jumped out of bed. Shit.

"Hold the bus!" I shouted, pulling on a black t-shirt as she raced out of my room again. I yanked on black skinny jeans and combed through my hair with my fingers as I frantically searched around my room for my blue chullo hat. Grabbing it from its spot on the floor, I rammed it on my head, shrugged on my blue jacket and raced out my room, picking up my phone on the way out.

I jogged down the stairs and into the empty kitchen. My parents were both at work and Ruby must've already gone to the bus stop. I snatched an apple from the fruit bowl, picked up my backpack from where it sat, slumped against the wall, and sprinted out of the house. The lock was already set so I slammed the door and raced down the path towards the bus stop. Ruby was standing in the doorway and I could hear the bitch lady yelling at her to sit the down as I got closer. I could hear the whole bus shouting at me as I jumped on and scanned my card. Everyone snickered and I flipped them off before sliding down into my seat at the front of the bus.

"That's the only time I'm ever doing that," whispered Ruby, walking past me to the back of the bus. I flipped her off and shoved my earphones in my ears. None of my friends took the bus so I was alone until I got to school. I watched the boring scenery whizz by as I stared out the window.

I was jolted out of my day dreaming by the whiny voice of Cartman. "No Kenneh, you can't sit here. Poor people can't sit here!" I rolled my eyes and started out the window, waiting for the bus to start moving again. Cartman was a total dick and everyone was used to this crap. We tended to ignore it unless things started getting out of hand.

"Um, is this seat taken?" I turned around to see Kenny awkwardly gesturing to the empty seat next to me. I was surprised, no one ever sits next to me and there are plenty of other free seats. I pull out one earphone and look at the parka clad teen who was waiting for my answer.

"Uh, no."

"Can I sit here?"

"I guess so," I dead panned. Kenny sat down and sighed, resting his head in his hands. I have no fucking clue what is wrong with him and I don't want to know - leave that to his friends. Replacing my earphone I turned away and resumed looking out the window.

The bus pulled into the school grounds and everyone stood up to get off. Everyone except Kenny. Sighing, I tapped him on the shoulder, "We're here." Kenny looked up, dazed.

"Hm? Oh. Thanks," he mumbled, forcing a cheerful tone into his voice as he heaved himself to his feet. Jesus Christ, this was the first time I'd actually looked at him this morning and he looked like utter shit. Dark circles formed under his bloodshot eyes and his skin was super pale. There's not much I can do about it though, leave that to his friends. He probably smoked much pot or drank too much alcohol or stayed up too late, jacking off to those porn magazines he's said to own. Whatever it is, it doesn't affect me. I gave him a nod while flipping him off and stepped off the bus, heading towards where Token, Clyde and Tweak were waiting for me by the gate.

"GAH! Hi Craig!" Twitched Tweak, sipping what is probably coffee from a metal thermos.

"Hey guys." I greeted them emotionlessly, flipping them all off. Token gave me a wave and Clyde continued to stare over at a group of girls. Well fuck you.

"Did you get your timetable?" Asked Token, fishing a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. I nodded and pulled a crumpled page out of my own and handed it to him. He looked down at it and smirked before taking it and comparing it to his own, neater timetable.

"Have you seen the new chick?" Drooled Clyde, hitting me on the arm and pointing in the direction of a brown haired girl talking to Wendy and Bebe. I rolled my eyes, she was pretty hot and I knew Clyde was going to try and get with her.

"Have you talked to her yet."

"No, but I will! We have history together!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"Good for you."

Token handed me back my slightly less crumpled timetable. "You've got economics with me, sport and English with Clyde and maths with Tweak. So far I know of no one doing media." That wasn't too bad. I wonder what fuckers would be in media, though.

"AH! I hate maths!" Shrieked Tweak, "I don't understand any of it! It's too much pressure!"

"I'll help you," I said, placing my hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

"Thanks, Craig," he smiled, twitching less.

The first bell rang and Clyde yelled in delight, "I'm off to history with the hot chick!" As he sprinted off in the direction of the history block.

"Bye guys," waved Token, heading off to English. I took Tweak by the arm and led him towards maths.

"It won't be too bad, I'll help you - remember," I said soothingly as I opened the classroom door.

I sat down at a desk next to Tweak and took in the rest of the room. A couple of Goth kids, a few melvins, some girls and Kyle, were in the class. It could've been worse. "Hello everyone," said a woman with black curly hair and a large furry jacket making her look like an ostrich, "my name is Ms Jeff." She wrote her name on the whiteboard. "During this course we will be covering algebra, binomials, quadratics, linear equations and trigonometry," she said while handing around a sheet (some dumbass course sheet outline all the shit she had just said but in more detail), "we will be having a mini test every Thursday (Tweak twitched and screamed, "a mini test? Every week? Oh man, that's way too much pressure!" Under his breath. I patted him on the shoulder.) along with a major test every term plus semesterly exams and various other assignments. You will be expected to work as hard as possible to achieve the best score in your end of year exams." I groaned under my breath. "Now take out your exercise books and get a text book from the back. You've got a lot of learning to do. We will start with Chapter 20, Trigonometric functions."

Well she doesn't seem like a total controlling bitch. Not at all.


	3. Chapter 3

After a gruelling hour of maths (most of which was spent trying to stop Tweek from having a panic attack) and another hour of economics with Token, our gang met up and we headed off to the cafeteria for recess. As I passed Ruby in the hallway, she slipped me a brown paper bag and flipped me off before disappearing around the corner.

Clyde, Token, Tweek and I, all grabbed our usual bench and settled down to hear Clyde gush about the new girl. I didn't even pretend to listen as I opened the bag from Ruby and pulled out some pizza and a bag of crisps. Upon closer inspection I also discovered that she had packed my lighter and box of cigarettes. I guess sometimes she's not such a bitch - I could probably make it through the day now. I looked around the cafeteria, chewing on my pizza. A flash of orange caught my eye and I saw Kenny sit down next to Kyle at his usual table. Even though I was pretty far away, he seemed to look even shittier. His head was down on the table as his friends talked over the top of him. Kyle kept looking down at him worriedly. I felt sort of sorry for Kenny in a way, he had pushed himself through the whole day. I pushed that thought away and returned my attention to Clyde's story. I don't give a single shit about anyone, let alone Kenny McWhoredick (thought that one up on the fly), his friends have it all under control.

After recess, the next class was English with Clyde. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't tell you a single thing about the lesson because Clyde talked my fucking ear off with stories about how great the new girl is (her name is Destiny) and how he's about to execute his move. Eventually I was freed from the torture and he wished me luck with media as he headed off to maths.

When I got there, there were only a couple of geeky kids and some girls, including Destiny. I sat down at a table by myself and waited for the teacher to start the lesson. "Hey," murmured a voice, sitting down next to me, "I don't care if someone is sitting here, I just really have to sit down." I looked up in shock as Kenny McCormick sat next to me for the second time that day.

"Uh, okay." What is this? Is today 'Kenny-magnetises-to-Craig' day? Why the fuck is he only acknowledging my existence now? And why does it have to be the day where he's sick so I'm forced to deal with anything that happens? I turned away from Kenny, who looked pale enough to be confused with a ghost, and focused on the teacher who was now standing at the front of the room. 'I swear to fucking god if he's sick and I have to deal with it I'll disembowel him,' I thought to myself.

"Welcome to media," stated the teacher, looking bored. "I've given you all task sheets so choose whatever you want to do and do it. You have to complete all tasks to pass but I don't care what order you do them in. If you have any questions, ask me, my name is Ms Chardy." With that she sat down at her desk and pulled out her laptop. Well it's good to know this is a class I can easily skip.

I pulled out my earphones and shoved them in my ears. Usually I'd skip and go smoke but I felt like a better use of my time would be sleeping this one out. I folded my arms on the desk and rested my head on top of them. I was almost asleep when I heard Kenny groan and get up out his seat. Cracking my eyes open I watched him speak to the teacher and then bolt out of the room. Skipping? I shook my head and drifted back to sleep.

Half an hour later I jolted awake. I'd been having some weird-ass dream but I couldn't remember what had happened, only that it had been weird enough for me to wake up. I sat up properly and pulled my head phones out. Adjusting my hat on my head, I looked around the room, checking to see if anyone had noticed me sleeping of waking up. Everyone was sitting at computers, doing the set tasks and the teacher hadn't even moved from when she was speaking to Kenny. Wait, where the fuck was Kenny? 'Oh god, he's become my problem,' I thought to myself. I couldn't see him in the room and I could feel something gnawing at the pit of my stomach. I stood up from my desk and walked over to the teacher. "Can I go to the toilet." I dead panned. She barely looked up to nod her dismissal before her eyes returned to the screen. "Bitch," I muttered quietly, flipping her off and heading out into the quiet hallway.

I assumed he would probably be in the toilets so I headed there and pushed the door open. I could hear groaning and coughing as I cautiously crept into the room. He was on the floor in the end cubicle with the door open, leaning over the toilet and retching. His hood was down and unzipped revealing his messy blond hair and dirty white t-shirt. I felt a twinge of guilt at the fact he had been in here for half an hour by himself.

"Kenny, are you okay." I asked emotionlessly. He jumped slightly before turning around and wiping his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" He groaned. His eyes were still blood shot and he looked like a fucking zombie.

"I noticed that...you were gone for ages so I decided to see if you were okay." He looked a bit surprised and I didn't blame him. This is probably the first time I've ever shown an interest in anyone. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Um, thanks." He muttered. I leaned awkwardly against the wall as he turned back around and dry retched into the toilet bowl. I winced.

"Do you, uh, want to go to the nurse." He shook his head.

"I'll be fine."

"I don't think so," I dead panned, "you've been in here for ages already. You need to go home." He stayed silent for a bit before turning to face me and nodding.

"I guess..." Using the toilet as support he pulled him self to his feet and flushed everything away. He swayed slightly and wrapped his arm around my waist for support. I flinched slightly but didn't pull away. He grabbed my arm and looped it over his shoulders.

"This is so fucking gay," I muttered, leading him towards the exit. Kenny gave a crooked smile and returned his concentration to walking to the office.

It took about fifteen minutes to get there and, with the nurse's help, I managed to get him lying down on the bed. She told me to go and get his stuff from media and bring it back here. I slipped into the room and managed to avoid everyone's attention as I picked up both of the bags and headed back to the office. I wondered how many of them would actually realise the bell was about to ring.

When I got back, Kenny's mother, Carol McCormick, was sitting on the bed, stroking her son's hair. I knocked on the door frame awkwardly and she leapt up. "Oh thanks! It's Craig, right?" She exclaimed, taking Kenny's bag from me.

"Yeah."

"Thanks so much Craig! Kenny has a fever so I'm going to take 'im home."

"Uh, okay." I guess we both felt is was kind of weird that I was here since everyone knows I don't pay attention to anyone else and I'm usually super rude when people ask for my help (except when it involves beating up Cartman). The nurse shooed me off to my next class and Kenny mouthed 'thank you' while weakly waving good bye. I blankly flipped him off and left the office.

I passed by Kyle in the hall. "Kenny's gone home, he's sick." He looked surprised to see me talking to him.

"Um, thanks Craig. I guess we'll go see him after school" I nodded curtly at him and stalked off down the hallway. He was now his friends' problem, not mine. But why do I still feel like I owe him?


	4. Chapter 4

'What the fuck am I doing.'

School had finished and instead of going home and watching red racer (no, I'm not too old. Fuck off.), I'm standing in the cold outside the door of the dipshit, Kenny McCormick. Even though I spent most of the day telling myself I'd done all I had to and he was no longer my problem, I was still drawn to go and see him. Maybe it was because he paid attention to me today. Or maybe it was because he just looked so terrible. Whatever it was, I blew off all my friend's attempts at getting me to hang out with them and travelled to McCormick's house.

I bit my lip and rolled my piercing into my mouth before raising my gloved hand and knocking on the door. To be honest I didn't even know what I was going to do. I'm not his friend and I know shit all about him. I'm still not quite sure why I'm even here. "Yes? Oh! Hello Craig, d' you want Kenny?" Carol McCormick stood in the doorway, her red hair resting over one shoulder.

"Er- yeah, is he better?" I asked emotionlessly.

"No, he's just been sleepin' the day away. His friends were just here to see 'im so he might be a bit tired. You can go up an' see 'im though. Top of the stairs, second room on the right." With that she stepped away from the door and I stepped inside.

I'd heard the McCormicks were poor but I thought those stories were exaggerated. Empty beer cans and food wrappers littered the floor. Cracks showed in the walls and every so often a rat would scurry across the floor. How could anyone live in a shit hole like this? Carol pointed towards the stair case before heading into what looked to be a kitchen. I'm guessing - it looked fucked up. As I began to climb the steps creaked under my weight and I began to worry I was never going to leave this house alive.

Kenny's room wasn't too hard to find since it was labelled 'Kenny's Room'. For the second time that day I stood outside a door in conflict. "Just walk in, see how he is and walk out," I muttered, knocking on the door.

"For the last fucking time, Cartman, I don't have fucking rabies!" Kenny shouted weakly. I smirked slightly to myself and reached to open the door before it was wrenched open to reveal a half naked McCormick looked pissed off.

"Oh, it's you. Hey," he smiled sheepishly. For some reason I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. His slender, sculpted torso rippled as he breathed and his messy blond hair framed his strong jaw. I just wanted to push him to the wall and slam my lips against his perfect ones, while running my hand over his fucking gorgeous abs. 'What the fuck, Tucker?' I thought to myself, pushing my weird thoughts to the back of my mind.

"H-hey, how...um...are you?" I stammered weakly, pulling on my lip ring. Kenny looked at me closely.

"Shit? But why do you care? I thought Craig Tucker didn't care about anyone?"

"Neither did I," I muttered. I was trying really hard to keep my eyes locked on his green ones.

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know." Kenny stared at me for a moment before stepping to the side.

"Come in, then. I guess we'll both find out eventually."

Kenny's room was similar to the rest of his house. Messy and broken. The only difference was the shit tonne of posters featuring girls in bikinis, girls lying on cars and girls pole dancing, adorning his walls. It was enough to make a guy go nuts, but for some reason I didn't feel the same way about the posters as I felt about him. I watched him climb into his double bed and lay down under the covers. 'God, how I wish I was in that bed w-WHAT THE FUCK.' I thought to myself, crushing every single gay thought I was having and removing any form of emotion from my face. 'I like girls, I've dated girls. I'm straight. I'm just feeling woozy from the heat in here.'

"Sit down," said Kenny, not noticing my inner crisis and pointing to the end of his bed. I wandered over and sat down, leaning my back against the wall. "So why do you suddenly care about me?" I grit my teeth.

"Why did you suddenly notice me." Hurt filled his blue eyes and I looked at the floor. Maybe that was a bit harsh.

"What do you mean? I sat next to you on the bus because Cartman was being a dick and I didn't want to break up the 'super gay friends'. Was there a problem with that, because if there was I won't do it again."

"No, there wasn't a problem," I sighed, "but why today? I mean you've never shown any interest in me before and -"

"I could say the same to you. I'm 'showing more interest' in you because it's our last year of school and there are people that I'd like to talk to that I've never spoken to before. I think you're pretty cool and mysterious - I've always wanted to know more about you but I've never had a chance. What's your reason? Why are you here?" I wasn't expecting that. Such a show of emotion from someone I hardly knew. He was right though, why was I here?

"I came because you got sick and since I took you to the office I thought your sorry ass deserved a visit." Lame. His eyes flicked to mine for a second and he looked like he didn't believe me. Rightly so.

"Okay, did you bring my 'sorry ass' some food?" He teased, dropping the subject. I smiled slightly before reaching into my bag and pulling out the rest of the packet of crisps.

"Here," I dead panned, throwing the bag at him. His eyes lit up and he threw the covers off, picking up the packet and moving to sit closer to me. I stiffened and tried to keep my eyes off his torso which was back in my view again.

"Thanks," he said, ignoring my obvious discomfort and inhaling the packet of crisps.

I fiddled with my lip ring as I watched him from the corner of my eye. He still looked rather pale and sickly but he was obviously well enough to argue with me about my reasons for visiting him and fucking destroy the half packet of crisps. Kenny looked at me, his head slightly tilted, as he crumpled up the empty packet in his hand and pegged it at the floor. "Y'know you're really hard to read, Craig, but something is telling me that you actually care a lot more than you let on. I think you're the most caring person in the whole of South Park, you're just too afraid to let anyone see." I looked at him in shock and for the first time in ages, I let some emotion creep into my voice.

"Thank you." It actually felt good to not hold back.


	5. Chapter 5

"So how was the first day?" Ask Mom as we sat at the dining room table eating dinner. I'd gotten back from Kenny's house a few minutes ago (he told me he would be at school by tomorrow) and none of my family questioned it. They didn't really care what time I got back, as long as I did wake anyone up if I got in super late.

"It was great!" Exclaimed Ruby, she's so fucking enthusiastic, "I've got lots of classes with my friends."

"Wonderful! What about you Craig?" Fuck it's my turn now.

"It was fine." I muttered, taking a bite from my chicken. Mom nodded and the table returned to silence.

After dinner I headed straight up to my room and shut the door. I changed out of everything and into sweat pants. Standing in front of the mirror I inspected myself. I'm not as toned as Kenny and I'm pretty thin (some people think it's okay to point that out and be a dick about it. It is not a compliment if you practically shout "Oh my god! You're so skinny!". Yeah I fucking know, shut up). My long legs were covered by my pants and my black hair hung over my grey eyes. "I feel different, Stripe." I muttered which was answered with a squeak. "I don't know, but it's like I'm more of a person. It's getting harder to hide." Stripe squeaked again and turned away from the mirror and took him out of his cage. "Why do I find it so easy to talk to you?" I asked, holding him up to my face. He nuzzled my nose and I let out a happy sigh. "You're so fucking cute, you know that?" I cooed, laying down on my bed and setting him down on my pillow. He burrowed into the crook of my elbow and I smiled to myself. Stripe was so much easier to deal with than most people. He doesn't bitch or whine and he actually listens with out judging me. But for some reason I now also feel that way about Kenny McCormick. It felt easy talking to him and I said more to him in half an hour than I've said to my friends in a year. I can't understand it and I don't really know if I want to right now.

Before long I started to feel tired so I got up, put Stripe back in his cage, brushed my teeth and got back into my bed. I set my alarm for 6:30 rather than 7:00am, I wasn't dealing with that shit two days in a row. Slowly I shut my eyes and within a couple of minutes I was fast asleep.

This time I got up with enough time to eat breakfast, have a shower, brush my teeth and clean out Stripe's cage. I got out the house by 7:10 and lit up a cigarette on the way to the bus stop. "Look who's on time?" Smirked Ruby, walking towards me.

"Look who's still a bitch," I said, flipping her off.

"Hey! If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have even made the bus yesterday or survived the day because I had to wake you up and bring you your lunch.

"Fuck off."

"Gladly," dead panned Ruby, getting on the bus, which had now arrived, and scanning her card. Stamping out my cigarette, I did the same and sat down in the same seat as yesterday. Plugging in my earphones I waited on the ride finishing.

"Craig Fucker!" Greeted Kenny, getting on the bus and sitting down next to me.

"Kenny McWhoredick." He rolled his eyes and the rest of his gang got on the bus. Stan and Kyle stood very close to each other, their hands almost brushing. I've got a feeling I was onto something with the 'super gay friends' thing.

"Oh yeah, they both told me they like each other but they won't do anything about it. It's frustrating as fuck to watch," said Kenny, following my gaze. I nodded and watched them head towards the back of the bus together.

That could be me.


	6. Chapter 6

Today was the best school day I've ever experienced in my whole entire life. Everything was normal. I said nothing to anyone, I wasn't called on in class and I didn't start imaging gay things concerning a certain parka-wearing blond.

I opened the door to my bedroom, strode across the floor and leapt into bed. I had shit tonne of homework but no intention of doing any of it. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on. I had two messages. One was from my service provider, notifying me of some deal and the other was from Tweek. It was a bunch of letters and symbols, a text I often get from him when he's stressed. Sighing, I put the phone to my ear and call him back.

"AH! Hello?" Screeched Tweek, picking up after the fifth ring.

"Tweek, it's Craig," I dead panned, "what's up."

"GAH! Craig! You have to help me! It's the NG maths! I don't understand it! I'm going to fail high school! OH GOD! What if I do! AHH I'll be down a year! I won't get a job! I'll be stuck working in this coffee shop for the REST OF MY LIFE! People will laugh at me! Or I'll have to go to summer school! AHHHHHHHH! I've heard it's like prison! I don't want to go to prison! ITS TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Screamed Tweek. I held the phone away from my ear.

"Tweek, you won't go to summer school."

"I WON'T?"

"No, tell me what ones you can't do."

"ALL OF THEM! GAH!" Sighing under my breath I went over to my school bag and pulled out the page of maths homework. It looked like if be doing it after all.

It took over two hours to teach Tweek the maths, especially since he kept erupting into fits of panic. If that was anyone else that would piss me off immensely, but since it's Tweek and he really can't help it because his parents make him drink coffee all the fucking time, I don't mind so much. After I hung up on Tweek, promising to help him if he had any other problems, I headed down to dinner.

This time it was Dad serving dinner as Mom was at work. I preferred it this way as Dad didn't ask questions so dinner was nice and boring. Just the way I like it.

Walking into my room, I stripped off and put on a pair of sweat pants. I looked over at Stripe, nestled in a bed of straw, his soft fur rising and falling with each breath. A wave of affection surged through me and I gently picked him up. "I fucking love you Stripe, you give my life purpose." I said, gently planting a kiss on his head. He squeaked back happily, nuzzling my nose. We stayed like that for a few minutes, me cradling my tiny pet before I replace him in his cage and turned off the bedroom light. "Goodnight," I murmured softly, climbing into my bed. A tired squeak was my reply, making me smile as I drifted off to sleep.

Something woke me up. It was 5am and still dark outside. My heart was pounding in my chest and I shifted uncomfortably, trying to go back to sleep. "Stripe?" I whispered, turning to face his cage. Not a sound. 'Probably asleep," I thought, standing up and switching on the bedroom light. Nothing moved inside his cage. "Stripe?" I whispered again, unlatching the cage door and poking the mound of fur in the hay. Nothing. My blood ran cold as I picked up his lifeless body. My best friend and only true companion, had died.

I felt nothing. I just sat back down on the bed and cradled my dead guinea pig in my arms. I thought about the first day I got him and all the times he had been there to comfort me. He was gone.

I sat there for an hour, stroking his cold fur and thinking. I pulled a shoebox out from under my bed and threw the shoes out of it. Carefully I filled it with straw and his favourite little blue ball. Silently I kissed the top of his head and lowered him into the box. I arranged him in his favourite sleeping position, curled up in a ball, and gently closed the lid.

Throwing on my clothes and hat, I turned off my alarm and walked out my room. Silently I crept downstairs and into the garden. Placing his makeshift coffin on the grass, I picked up a shovel and started to dig.

The sun began to creep over the horizon as I lowered his coffin into the hole. "Rest in peace, Stripe Tucker. The best friend I could've ever asked for." My voice stayed low and monotone as I began to fill in the hole. I was not going to cry. I don't cry. Even if the only structure to my life was gone.

I went back inside and made cereal, then I brushed my hair and sat on the couch waiting for Ruby. I didn't say a word.

We walked to the bus stop in silence, Ruby sensed something was wrong but knew it was best to leave me be. She gave me a sympathetic look as we boarded the bus and I sat in my usual seat. I didn't say a word.

I leant my head against the bus window, the vibrations helping me suppress everything. The bus stopped and Cartman's gang, Kenny too, boarded the bus. "Woah Craig, you look like shit!" Leered Cartman, the whole bus turning to look at me, "What happened, did you shove your guinea pig too far up your ass last night? AHAHA!" The whole bus joined in on his laughter as I clenched my fist. I didn't say a word. Cartman moved on, still laughing and Kenny sat down.

"Are you okay?" I turned to look at him, his concerned eyes meeting my blank face.

"Yes." I dead panned, standing up and walking off the bus.

Everyone stared as the bus pulled away and I walked back towards my house. That was it. Fuck them all. It's almost like everyone knew and was just trying to piss me off. I smacked a lamp post with my fist, the skin breaking and blood dripping from my knuckles. Good.


	7. Chapter 7

The blood started to form a dry crust over my knuckles as I walked past my house and towards Stark's Pond. The place was empty. Perfect. I sat with my back against a tree, staring out over the uninterrupted water. Everything was the same as before. It was as if the world didn't care. Angrily, I picked up a stone and threw it into the water. Ripples broke the smooth surface, imperfection in a perfect environment. Like me.

"Craig?" I whirled around and narrowed my eyes.

"What are you doing here." It was Kenny motherfucking McCormick.

"I came here to think," he said, sitting next to me. I turned away and flipped him off. Why the fuck did he have to follow me? We sat in silence for a bit, watching the ripples slowly fade away from the pond. "Why are you here?" He asked, lowering his hood.

"Thinking," I murmured quietly, fighting down my emotions. I'm not going to cry. Kenny looked at me, his blue eyes searching my face.

"About?" I grit my teeth.

"It doesn't matter." He opened his mouth as if to speak, but thought about it and nodded. A few moments later he spoke.

"I'm here because I figured going to school wasn't worth it since I'm not going to get anything out of it and somebody I want to get to know better, just walked off the bus," he said quietly, looking out over the pond and watching two dragon flies dart about.

"Oh." I hugged my knees to my chest and looked at the ground. Kenny hummed.

"Yeah."

"I'm here because the world's shit and my life just fell apart," I choked, fighting the tears that were forming in my eyes. Kenny looked at me again. Lowering my head, I squeezed my eyes shut as a single tear leaked out. Fuck.

"Just let it out, Craig," he said gently, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Stripe's dead." I whispered, letting the tears pour down my face, "I'll never see him again. The only structure to my life is gone forever. I don't even know how I'll cope." Kenny swallowed hard and pulled me into his shoulder. I buried my face in his shirt and let the tears soak through as he rubbed my back. He smelt like smoke and aftershave - that cliche shit one that is supposed to make girls fly into your arms. I ignored the sarcastic comments I wanted to make and let myself relax into him. Each breath I took made the weight on my shoulders, slowly disappear.

"When did he die?" He murmured into my hat.

"Early this morning, I woke up and he was gone."

"Oh god and then Cartman - shit! That's why you got off!" He exclaimed, pulling me tightly against him.

"Yeah," I mumbled, "he's a total ass." Kenny chuckled lightly and lay back, pulling me down with him. 'Fuck - this is so gay,' I thought to myself, trying not to think about how a thin piece of fabric was separating me from his toned torso.

"Doesn't it feel better to let it out?" He asked, running his fingers along my shoulder and back.

"Yeah." I sighed, closing my eyes slightly as the tears dried on my skin.

We lay there in silence for a few minutes, Kenny staring up at the sky and me lying with my arm wrapped around him. "Do you want to talk about Stripe?" He asked, gently. I cracked one eye open and looked up at him through my eyelashes.

"No." I'd already appeared weak enough today. I sure as hell wasn't going to start talking about my feelings and memories. I'm not a girl. I also felt like if I talked about him, I would lose the memories and that was something I didn't want to happen.

"Okay," said Kenny, sighing to himself, "what do you want to do?" I yawned slightly and took my arm off him to rub my eyes.

"I don't mind - as long as we don't talk about him." He snorted.

"We won't. I'm tired as shit so we could sleep? And then maybe get lunch?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I muttered, closing my eyes and shifting into a more comfortable position, with my head on his shoulder and arm around his torso. Kenny let out a surprised and happy gasp, wrapping his arm tighter around me.

"We'll do that then," he whispered. I nodded and drifted off to sleep, the feeling of Kenny's fingers on my back making me feel warm inside.


	8. Chapter 8

"Craig, get up," said Kenny, nudging me awake. My eyes snapped open and I shot up out of the gay position I'd just been in. Disappointment flickered across his face but when he too sat up, it was gone.

"Shit, what's the time," I groaned, adjusting my hat on my head and running my fingers through my hair. Kenny fished his crappy phone from his pocket and checked the time.

"3:30." I rubbed my eyes.

"Fuck, that late?"

"Yeah." A comfortable silence filled the air as we sat side by side. I pulled my cigarettes and lighter from my pocket and lit one up. Kenny stared at me as I smoked.

"D-do you want one," I asked awkwardly, I hated that he was staring at me.

"Please?" I rolled my eyes and passed him the box and lighter. I never share my cigarettes, what the fuck? His hand brushed mine as he gave me them back and held the cigarette between his teeth. "Thanks." I grunted and flipped him off, turning away and looking out over the pond. I blew smoke rings out over the pond and Kenny looked at me in awe. "How did you do that?"

"I'm very skilled with my tongue," I smirked.

"Oh?" He winked suggestively. Shit. Why the fuck did I say that? He probably thinks I'm gay now. I awkwardly turned away and blew normal streams of smoke.

"Um did you still want to get lunch?" Asked Kenny, breaking the silence and looking down at the grass. I stood up.

"Sure." He smiled and I extended my hand, pulling him to his feet. He held my hand for a heartbeat longer and I awkwardly pulled away. Nope. Throwing my cigarette on the ground and stamping it out, I dusted down my jeans. I could feel his blue eyes studying me and I squirmed under his gaze.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked, ignoring the moment just passed between us and stamping out his own cigarette.

"McDonalds," I asked, trying to think of a place where he could actually afford to eat. Kenny gave me a crooked smile.

"Okay."

We grabbed a booth and sat down. Surprisingly there weren't too many people, considering school had just been let out. They must all be at that new Taco Bell (at least I knew Clyde was, he practically lives there). As we ate in silence, I allowed my mind to wander back to Stripe. I missed him so fucking much and no one would ever be able to understand that. Now I had no one to confide in but I had a feeling he would approve of my life choices from up there in guinea pig heaven. As long as I didn't do anything too stupid.

I could feel Kenny watching me (Jesus Christ, does he never stop?) as I ate. He'd already finished his food, it was practically inhaled. "Dude, are you gay?" I choked on my chip.

"What?!" I spluttered. I was not expecting that. Kenny looked at me quizzically.

"I said: are you gay?"

"No!" I yelped, pushing away every thought that told me otherwise. I'm not gay. I just haven't found the right girl yet.

"Oh," he said, stirring his drink with his straw, "I am."

"What?!" I half screamed. People turned to look at us and I lowered my head. Kenny looked up at me.

"Yeah," he smirked, "why does that surprise you?

"You dated girls, you had what's-her-name give you a blowjob, you've had sex, you own so much porn and your room is covered in posters of half naked women." I listed. He smiled.

"I find it fun to fuck girls and shit but I don't feel that attracted to them. You throw a hot girl at me and I'll fuck her senseless but I won't feel anything. You throw a hot guy at me (he paused and looked me in the eye) and I'll actually care. Sure I'll fuck them and all but I'd enjoy it a heck of a lot more than if they were a girl. Also you know how Cartman is and how everyone will follow him if they know it will distract him from tormenting them. If he knew what I really felt he would beat me senseless. I think that's also what is holding Stan and Kyle back."

"Oh." I took a sip of my water, "So you're bi?"

"I'm actually pan," he smiled, "but I prefer guys (he emphasised the word 'guys' while staring right at me. What?)"

"Um okay… Do you - think I'm gay?" I waited nervously for his answer. I don't know why I felt so nervous, I knew I was straight - right? Kenny's blue eyes met mine and for once they were unreadable.

"To be honest Tucker, I don't know what I think."


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up early in the morning, 20 minutes before my alarm. Sadness weighed down on me as I looked to where Stripe's cage used to be. My whole family knew he was gone by the time I got home from spending the day with Kenny. Ruby approached me and told me she knew what was wrong. I think her exact words were, "Craig I know why you're being a total bitch and I understand. I know how much Stripe meant to you and I'm sorry he's gone. I'm here for you if you need me, okay?" That was nice - for her.

I got up and switched off my alarm, threw on my clothes and headed downstairs. No one else was up yet so I grabbed a muesli bar and stepped out into the frosty morning. Not one person was about. It was quiet and peaceful as I trudged down the worn foot path. Leaning against the bus stop, I lit up a cigarette and stared at the houses lining the other side of the road. They all looked the same, just different fucking colours. How creative.

My mind wandered to my encounter with Kenny yesterday. What did he mean when he said he 'didn't know what to think'. Does he think I'm gay? Or doesn't he? And why the fuck did he keep staring at me every time he said the word 'guy' when he was coming out to me? Most importantly, he just saw me at my weakest. How do I know that he won't exploit that?

"Ugh can you hurry up and quit?" Complained Ruby, coming to stand beside me at the bus stop and gesturing at the cigarette in my hand. I was kind of glad that she didn't treat me any different even though Stripe had just died.

"Fuck off," I growled, flipping her off.

"It was worth a shot."

"Did you really think you would have any impact."

"Nope, but I'm bored and your reaction entertained me for a few seconds," she said smirking. I narrowed my eyes at her and she stuck her tongue out at me as she got on the bus. Stamping my cigarette out, I followed her.

It wasn't long before we reached Kenny's stop and I watched him and his group board the bus. Cartman was talking to Kenny who smacked him in the shoulder (probably ripping on him for being poor again) as they got on the bus and walked away from him to sit next to me. "He's a fucking ass," he said, rolling his eyes. I opened my mouth to agree with him before I was cut off but some commotion from the front of the bus.

"So you guys are, like, fags now?" Cartman stood up the front of the bus, pointing at Stan and Kyle's intertwined fingers. Kyle looked at the floor, red spreading over his cheeks while Stan stood his ground, glaring straight at the fat fuck.

"We're not fags Cartman."

"Really? Because you look like some gay-ass fags to me!" Cartman sneered. The rest of the bus stayed quiet, including Ms Crabtree. Kenny tensed up beside me, his eyebrows drawn together and his hand closed in a fist.

"Just fuck off," growled Stan.

"I knew you weren't straight!" Shouted Cartman, "I knew it! I'm not too surprised it's the Jew either, everyone knows Jews are gay fags!" Stan growled and let go of Kyle's hand, pushing the red-head behind him.

"Shut up, Cartman!"

"Hey everyone! Stan and Kyle are gay! Hahahaha!" A couple of the people on the bus started snickering. Stan clenched his hands.

"I said: shut up, Cartman!"

"You can't tell me what to do - fag!" Stan snapped and threw himself at the homophobic shit head, punching him around the face. Kenny leapt up out of his seat, running over to help Stan batter the asshole on the floor who was crying like a pussy. Kyle stood in shock for a few seconds before a look of anger clouded his face and he ran over to join his boyfriend and Kenny in their assault. No body else did anything.

After a few seconds of fighting, Ms Crabtree finally decided to act like an adult again. "Sit down!" She screamed and the boys broke apart. Cartman had a black eye along with various other bruises that were forming all over his body. His nose was dripping blood and he staggered up to the back of the bus, muttering insults under his breath. Stan stood up, wiping the blood off his body before grabbing Kyle's hand and proudly walking to his seat, under everyone's shocked gaze. Ms Crabtree started the bus and continued on to school.

"Well that was intense," murmured Kenny, sitting back down. He too had a black eye.

"Holy fucking shit, it's your eye okay?" I blurted out. He looked at me weirdly and I tore my gaze away from him. Why the fuck did I say that? Why?

"Yeh it's fine," he said, flexing his face, " but you know what would make it better?" I stared at him.

"What."

"A kiss," he winked.

"What the fuck?!" I'm not gay, there is no way I'm going to kiss him. But I mean if he's offering...NO! Kenny laughed at my shocked expression and I flipped him off, turning my attention to the window. He's a poor piece of shit who is fucking with my mind to piss me off. That's it.

"Dude! What took you so long!" Exclaimed Token, as I got off the bus.

"There was an incident." Token looked at me quizzically.

"What incident?"

"See for yourself," I said emotionlessly, walking past him as an injured Cartman got off the bus. I headed off towards where Tweek was standing as Token stood in shock by the bus.

"GAH! Here you are! I thought you would AH skip again!" Twitched Tweek.

"Nah, can't leave you two days in a row." Tweek smiled. He was pretty much the only person I didn't mind being nice to. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.

"What the fuck happened to fatass?" Exclaimed Token joining us by the gate. It looked like Clyde had ditched us to work on Destiny. Horny motherfucker.

"He pissed people off."

"Duh! But who? And why are Stan and Kyle holding hands?"

"He called them fags because they're dating and that pissed Stan off so he started bashing him and then Kenny and Kyle joined in."

"They're gay?!" Exclaimed Token at the same time.

"No, of course not," I said sarcastically.

"I guess they AH really are super gay friends," joked Tweek, sipping from his thermos. I smirked slightly and watched as Stan and Kyle crossed the front of school. Stan kept his head high, despite all the people staring and whispering. Kyle stayed close to his taller boyfriend, looking up at him, his eyes full of adoration.


	10. Chapter 10

I was the only one downstairs when someone knocked on the front door. It was Friday night and my parents had decided to go out for some stupid-ass 'romantic getaway' over the weekend (I don't want to know), leaving me in charge of looking after Ruby. The fourteen year old devil headed straight up to her room after dinner which meant I was going to have a relaxing evening watching reruns of Red Racer. Well I was going to. I didn't even bother with putting on a shirt as I got up to answer the door. No one knocking this late was worth the effort.

"What the fuck?" Kenny McTurn-up-at-the-wrong-fucking-times stood nervously on my doorstep, breathless. Blood was pouring from a gash above his eye and he held his school bag tightly in his right hand. I sort of regretted not wearing a shirt now.

"Um look I'm really sorry (his eyes drifted down to my bare chest and I grit my teeth) about this but my parents are fighting again and Karen's at her friends house and usually I'd stay with Stan or Kyle but they're kind of being gay and I don't want to interrupt them so I was, uh, wondering if I could crash here?" He stammered. I leant my arm against the door frame and stared down at him. Why today? Why the one day where I'd planned to literally watch Red Racer until I fell asleep on the couch and Ruby had to make breakfast? Why?!

"Get in," I sighed, moving out the way and letting him enter the house. I couldn't just send him away, especially since he seemed pretty desperate? He breathed a sigh of relief and I led him upstairs to my room.

"Put your shit here," I pointed at the floor and he dumped his bag on the ground.

"Thanks for letting me stay," he murmured, unzipping his parka and stepping towards me. My breath hitched in my throat as his hand slightly brushed against my stomach as he removed his sleeve. It took all of my willpower to not close the gap between us and fucking make out with him. Maybe I should just edit my evening plans. A long night of making out with Kenny beats Red Racer any day. No, no it doesn't. Making out with a girl beats Red Racer beats Red Racer any day. Yeah...

Shaking myself from my daze I stepped back from Kenny. "You should probably wash that cut," I said, steadying my voice and gesturing to the bleeding mess above his eye. He looked a bit disappointed at the new distance between us as he gently touched it with his hand.

"Yeah," he said, wincing slightly. I pushed away all my feelings of concern (not making that mistake again) and pointed out into the hallway.

"The bathroom is next to my room. You can take a shower and do whatever the fuck you want then come downstairs and I'll help you disinfect your cut."

"Thanks," he said smiling, picking up his bag and leaving my room. I made sure he went through the door before crossing the hall and entering Ruby's room.

"McWhoredick is staying over, some shit is going down at home." Ruby quirked her eyebrow in interest.

"Aww you guys have pet names for each other!"

"McWhoredick is not a pet name, it's an insult."

"I'm sure your boyfriend think so too."

"What the fuck? He's not my boyfriend?" I spluttered.

"Not yet he's not. Keep it down tonight, okay?" She winked. I growled in frustration, flipping her off and walking out of her room while she cackled with laughter.

I shoved some leftover lasagne in the microwave and set it to reheat before heading into the lounge room and setting up the television. I wasn't going to let the fact I had an unwanted guest ruin my ideal evening. "Oh my god, you still watch this?" Groaned Kenny, joining me on the couch. His hair was damp and hung over his eyes. Yet again he was fucking shirtless, his damp skin making his god-like abs glisten. Fuck.

"Yeah? Fuck off if it bothers you." He rolled his eyes, pushing the hair off his forehead. Unconsciously he gently ran his finger along the length of the gash above his eye which extended from the top of his eye socket to his temple. It looked a lot better. It wasn't too deep but it was bright pink and leaking a little blood. "Let's just get that disinfected before we worry about your blatant disrespect of my favourite TV show." He looked at me oddly before realising I was referring to his cut. Standing up, he smirked slightly and followed me back into the kitchen.

Rummaging through the cupboard I finally found some cream which is supposed to heal shit like this. Probably. He held out his hand for the bottle and I shook my head, squeezing a bit of the cream onto my finger. "I need to do it to make sure we actually cover it," I said emotionlessly. That wasn't entirely true, I also wanted and excuse to touch him. No it didn't. Kenny sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"Fine." He shut his eyes as I pushed his hair back and gently rubbed the cream over the scar. He tensed and let out a hiss of pain.

"Fuck! It's like being stabbed!" I ignored him and continued to rub the cream into the wound.

"How did this even happen anyway?" Kenny hissed again.

"Mom and Dad were fighting because Dad finished all the alcohol and Mom didn't get a chance to have any. Karen was FUCK in the middle of it all and I had to step in to make sure she didn't get hurt. I'd already told her to prepare a bag for situations like this so we were both holding our bags and preparing to leave when Dad threw and empty bottle at the floor causing it tO SHIT THAT FUCKING HURTS shatter and a flying glass piece hit me." I nodded my head sympathetically and stopped touching his cut.

"Done." He let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks." The beeping noise of the microwave cut through the kitchen and I pulled the steaming plate of lasagne out of it.

"I wasn't sure if you'd eaten so I heat up some food for you," I dead panned, placing the plate down in front of him along with some cutlery. He looked at me in shock.

"You made food?"

"Um, yeah." He looked genuinely touched. I looked away and walked shoved a packet of popcorn in the microwave. When I turned back he seemed to have gotten over his previous shock as he was now shovelling forkfuls of pasta into his mouth. Fucking weirdo.

A couple of minutes later both Kenny and the popcorn were finished. He shoved his dirty dishes in the sink and followed me into the lounge room, carrying two cans of coke (A/N product placement). I placed the popcorn on the coffee table and Kenny handed me one of the cans before slumping down on the couch. "Thanks for making me food," he mumbled.

"It's fine." He grinned at me.

"Do we still have to watch this?" I glared at him.

"Yes, time to shut the fuck up." I growled, pressing play on the remote. Kenny groaned quietly, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

The last episode finished at 12:35am. Yawning I switched off the TV, the only light in the room being the moonlight shining through the window. Kenny lay fast asleep on the couch, his arm covering his eyes. Laughing quietly to myself, I got up and switched on the room light. A slight groaned came from the couch and I leant against the wall. "What the fuck, Craig Fucker? Growled Kenny, "I was having such a great dream..."

"Yeah well I don't care. I'm going to bed and I think you should too." Grumbling to himself, he heaved himself to his feet and stumbled after me up to my room.

"Have you got a spare blanket or something?" He asked as I walked towards my wardrobe.

"You take my bed." He widened his eyes.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll take the floor." Kenny looked disappointed.

"I thought you - never mind. Thanks," he smiled, leaping into my bed. I pulled spare blankets and pillows out the wardrobe and arranged them on the floor.

"Jesus Christ! Your bed is so nice!" Exclaimed Kenny, nestling down in the covers. I smirked and turned off the light.

"Goodnight."

Holy fucking shit the floor is uncomfortable. My eyes felt weary as I rolled over and attempted to find a more comfortable position. "Craig," murmured Kenny, sitting up on his elbows, "you can come in the bed with me if you want." I stayed silent for a moment, weighing up my options. Either hardly sleep or share a double bed with Kenny McCormick. I could do worse. Slowly I got up and wandered over to the bed. Kenny's blue eyes reflected in the moonlight as he watched me.

The tiredness must've messed with my brain because for that moment nothing held me down. I felt like the true me. Slowly I leant down and planted a light kiss on his lips before climbing into the other side of the bed. A smile played on my lips as I lay down in the darkness, facing towards the window.

The room was silent for ages and I began to drift to sleep. Kenny finally began to stir and wrapped his arm around my waist, nuzzling into my neck. "This is now officially the best day of my life," he whispered, "I want you to remember that I care about you very much. No matter what, I'll always be there for you. Don't ever forget that."

"Thanks," I murmured, my eyes still shut. He let out a happy sigh and ran his finger tips over my stomach in random soothing patterns.

"Goodnight, Craig."

"Night," I mumbled, falling asleep seconds later.


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up at 7:30am as Kenny unwrapped his arm from around my waist and disappeared out into the hallway (I'm assuming he went to the bathroom). Rolling over, I buried my self deeper into the covers, breathing in the smoky scent of Kenny. I was going to have to explain a lot to him when he came back, especially why 'bad boy Craig Tucker who hates everyone and is totally not gay' just got into bed with another guy and kissed him.

Fuck.

I guess now I should probably accept it. I'm gay, and I think I like the stupid, poor asshole.

"Morning," smiled the blond, walking back into the room and pulling his dirty white shirt on, covering his sculpted torso. I bit back a wave of disappointment and stared at him emotionlessly as he got back in the bed beside me.

"Why the fuck are you so happy."

"It's a beautiful morning!" I snorted.

"That sounds so fucking gay, McWhoredick."

"Well I am fucking gay, Fucker," he replied. Walked right into that one. Sighing, I propped myself up on one elbow and turned to face him.

"Kenny I -" Holy fucking shit we were so close. I was just centimetres from Kenny's face. His sculpted jaw, perfect lips and brilliant blue eyes with long, dark lashes. I wanted so badly to kiss him and feel his lips against mine again. "Uh, I'm going to make breakfast," I mumbled weakly, leaping out of the bed. Kenny shook himself and stared at me as I threw on a grey shirt and bolted out the room.

I stood still in the hallway for a moment before walking into Ruby's room. Her light was off and she was still lying asleep in her bed.

"Ruby..." She groaned and flipped me off through a gap in the covers.

"Fuck off Craig, it's too early for your shit."

"I have to talk to you about something."

"What," she sighed, still lying on her side with her eyes shut. I sat down on the end of her bed and she flipped me off again. "Hurry up, asshole."

"I-I'm gay."

"Is that it? Can you leave now?" She asked, not showing any other form of emotion.

"Did you even hear me?" She opened he eyes and sat up slightly.

"Yes. What the fuck do you want me to say? Can you leave now your gayness? I really don't care if you're gay or not, it won't change the fact that you're my brother and you're still in my room at this fucking ungodly hour." I looked at her in surprise.

"So you don't care?"

"No! Look, do you want me to care more? Do you want me to make a bigger deal? Will you leave if I do that? Oh my god Craig, how dare you be gay without getting my permission! Why did you choose to be gay! I'm your sister, didn't you think of me! Is that better? There is no point in anyone making a big deal over someone's sexuality. Gay, bi, straight, whatever. No one should have to hide their sexual preference for ages and then freak the fuck out when they tell people. Did you think I'd be angry or something? What do I have to be angry about aside from the fact that you won't let me sleep in on a fucking Saturday?" She had a valid point.

"Nothing."

"Exactly, you big idiot," she said, smiling slightly and pulling me into a hug.

"Thanks," I murmured, hugging her back. She pulled back and lay down in her bed again.

"Now can I sleep? Because unless you're going to tell me you kissed him or something I don't want to hear about it until later," she said, yawning. I looked down at my hands and fiddled with my lip ring. Ruby stared at me. "No. Way. You kissed him?!'

"...I might've."

"You? Craig Tucker who only admitted he was gay a few minutes ago, initiated a kiss with playboy Kenny McCormick? Did he like it?" I shrugged. "Date him!"

"Shhhhh!" I growled.

"It won't be too difficult, I mean you kissed him fairly easily."

"Okay that's enough conversation for one day," I said emotionlessly, standing up. Ruby smirked at me.

"Bye." I flipped her off before heading to the door. "Hey Craig!" I turned around to see her propped up on her side in her bed.

"What." She made the hand motions for blowjob before winking.

"Go get him."

"What the fuck!" I shouted, slamming her bedroom door and heading downstairs.

I couldn't see Kenny anywhere when I arrived downstairs. I guess he was still upstairs doing something, probably wondering what the fuck I was on. Sighing to myself, I pulled out a frying pan and began to fry up some bacon and eggs. I guess I could try talking to him over breakfast or something. I was going to have to tell him eventually because I'm pretty sure normal people don't kiss other people and then wimp out at every chance to tell them they like them.


	12. Chapter 12

"Holy shit!" Exclaimed Kenny, shovelling forkfuls of bacon into his mouth, "this is fucking amazing!" I smiled at him slightly before looking down at my own plate of food. He looked so cute, his blond hair concealing the cut on his forehead as he excitedly ate his breakfast. It's strange to think that something so normal for me had made him so happy.

"I fucking hope so because I slaved over that damn pan for ten minutes." He winked at me before continuing to eat. 'Okay,' I thought, 'I have to tell him now before the moment is passed.' Kenny finished his plate and arranged the cutlery neatly on top. "I have to tell you something," I blurted out. He looked at me with interest.

"What is it?" I opened my mouth to speak, but was then cut off by some trashy pop music. Kenny apologetically pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'm really sorry, I have to take this," he murmured before standing up and moving into the lounge room.

I sat their in a stony silence for a few minutes. I missed it. I still haven't fucking told him how I feel. I glared angrily at the wooden door separating me from him. I fucking failed again. "-yeah, okay. I'll be there soon." Kenny walked back into the kitchen, shoving his phone into his pocket.

"Who was that?" I asked emotionlessly, but I didn't feel emotionless.

"It was Karen. My parents are alright now and Mom wants me home for a 'family chat'. Seemingly Kevin's back or something," he shrugged, "thanks for letting me crash for a bit, I'll go and get my stuff." I pushed down a wave of disappointment.

"Okay."

He was back downstairs five minutes later, his backpack slung across his shoulders. "Again, thanks for letting me stay," he smiled, as we stood in the doorway.

"It's fine." He looked as if he wanted to say more, but thought the better of it and started off down the path. I stood in the doorway, watching him go. Just before he turned the corner, he looked back and raised his hand in a wave. I flipped him off and I swear I saw him laughing as he kept going.

Until I saw the truck.

Time seemed to stand still as I helplessly watched everything unfold in front of my eyes. I saw his body recoil in pain as the truck slammed into him, the sound of bones cracking, echoing up the street. The driver swerved back onto the road and kept going as Kenny lay like a rag doll in the middle of the street.

"Shit!" I screamed, finally gaining control of my body and sprinting towards where he lay. Blood covered his trademark orange parka and his legs were a mangled mess. "Shit, shit, shit!" I yelled, kneeling beside him and unzipping his parka to reveal yet more blood covering his dirty white shirt. "Don't you fucking die on me!" I screamed, pressing down on the wound on his chest, blood oozing around my fingers. His eyes fluttered open.

"Craig?"

"Yeah, I'm here. It's okay. Everything will be okay," I assured him (though I was trying to convince myself as well), taking one hand off him and using it to dial the ambulance on my mobile.

"I'm going to die," he stated, turning his head slightly and spitting blood from his mouth onto the sidewalk.

"No you won't. I'm not letting that happen."

"I will, but it will be okay. You just have to promise me something," he murmured weakly.

"911, what's your emergency?" The operator finally picked up and I began to shout down the phone at her while Kenny's eyes began to close.

"I can't stay on the fucking phone!" I yelled, "he's going!" I threw the phone onto the ground next to me and moved closer to his side. "Kenny, the ambulance is going to get here in a few minutes, just hold on - okay?"

"C-Craig, listen," he murmured weakly, "please promise me that you will wait a whole twenty four hours before you grieve. Go about your daily life for a whole twenty four, okay?"

"I can't just pretend - " I choked.

"Just do it. Please. I'm going to die, but this is my final wish. You don't want to break that," he winked and then coughed more blood onto the ground next to him, his voice becoming weaker.

"I-I promise." He sighed.

"Good." I could hear the sirens in the distance and I willed them with all my might to get to us as fast as possible.

"The ambulance is almost here, just hold on," I pleaded.

"I-I can't, I have to...go."

"You can't leave me," I murmured, "I love you." Kenny's eyes cracked open a fraction and he smiled slightly.

"I love you too, Craig Fucker. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to here you say that," he murmured weakly, pulling my face down to his and kissing me deeply. I kissed him back, leaning over him and sweeping his blood matted hair out of his face. I could taste nothing but his blood on my lips, the realisation that my final moment with him would be this, hit me like a tonne of bricks. A single tear escaped my eye.

After a few seconds he pulled away and weakly brushed my tear away before closing his eyes. "Twenty four hours," he whispered.

And then he was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

I hate Mondays. They fucking suck. I glared down the street, blowing smoke from my mouth as the bus made its way towards me. I stamped my cigarette out as I climbed on the bus in front of Ruby. Hard to believe it had been exactly a week since school started. And just under a week since Stripe died.

Swallowing hard, I sat down on my usual seat and stared at the floor. I missed him so much. I missed his tiny squeaks when he answered me and cuddling him when my day went shit. Now I had no one. He would know how to confess to Kenny, he would know.

"Hello Fucker," greeted Kenny cautiously, sitting down beside me. I jumped slightly - I hadn't realised the bus had stopped.

"Hello McWhoredick." He laughed slightly, but he seemed on edge. Like he was waiting for something. We sat in silence as the bus started up again and I stared out the window.

"Did, did nothing happen on the weekend?"

"No. I slept all Sunday." 'And thought about all the ways I could've confessed to you,' I growled in my head. Kenny made a tiny whining noise but said nothing. I ignored him and continued to stare out the window.

The first thing I noticed when I got off the bus was that Clyde was back. But he wasn't crying. What the fuck? Token noticed me and ran up to meet me. "This new girlfriend of his is different, I don't think she's just a 'fuck and dump'. He wants her to hang out with us." He said, falling in step with me and pointing at Clyde, Destiny and Tweek, who were standing by the gate.

"Y'reckon?"

"Yeah." I snorted in amusement and flipped Clyde off as I entered the group.

"That asshole there, is Craig," said Clyde, lifting his hand to point at me while keeping his other hand intertwined with Destiny's.

"Hello," said Destiny, smiling warmly as me. I half smiled and nodded at her before turning to Tweek.

"I'm skipping first to smoke, will you be okay?" Tweek nodded and sipped his coffee. I knew he would be fine, Kyle would look after him in maths and I usually skip my classes.

The bell interrupted our mindless chatter and I waved goodbye to the group, heading towards the back of the science block. I needed to have peace to think about what the fuck I was going to do with the whole McWhoredick thing.

Something that sounded like a muffled scream, interrupted my thoughts and I cautiously peaked around the side of the wall. Kenny was leaning against the wall, his hand clamped over his mouth, preventing any sound from coming out. Tears streamed from his eyes which were clenched shut against the world. I stared at him in shock before carefully stepping forward. "Kenny...?" His eyes snapped open and he pressed his hand harder into his mouth. "W-what's wrong?" He made a muffled sobbing noise and turned away. "Dude, you have to tell me what's wrong," I pleaded, placing my hand on his heaving shoulder. He said nothing but turned around and buried his face in my chest, his hand still firmly clamped over his mouth. I soothingly stroked his back and leant against the wall so we were both out of sight. "What happened?"

"...you don't remember - do you?" He mumbled through his hand.

"W-what do you mean?" He was scaring me now, I felt like I'd done something terrible since it was obviously my fault for making him feel this way. "What did I do?!" He ignored me and began to cry harder into my chest. I stared at the ground and watched as blood began to drip on the white snow. Wait, blood?! "What are you doing!" I half screamed, pulling back from him slightly and ripping his hand from over his mouth.

The skin hung in ragged patches and bite marks clearly showed all over his palm when he'd tried to bite down to conceal the noises he was making. Blood dripped from the wounds and I looked at him sadly. "Why are you doing this to yourself," I whispered, pulling him back into my chest and fighting away tears of my own. "What have I done to you to cause this?"

"You did nothing," he murmured weakly. I wrapped my hand around his injured one and pressed it hard against my chest.

"Clearly not," I choked, "you have to tell me what happened!"

"I-I can't. It's fine." His voice sounded dead and broken. It was killing me to hear him like this. I felt like shit. I took one hand off him and covered my eyes as a single tear leaked out. What did I do to him?! How could I fix this?! Kenny pulled back and stared up at me, tears still pooling in his eyes. "Oh my god Craig! Please don't cry!" He screeched, wiping away my tears with his free hand while crying even harder. I slumped down the wall, pulling him down with me.

"You have to tell me what I've done," I whispered, tears slowly trickling down my face. Kenny hysterically continued to cry into my chest.

"I fucking made you cry, I'm a fucking terrible excuse for a human being. Please stop crying, you've done nothing! It's all my fault!" I pushed him back so his tearful blue eyes met my sad grey ones.

"You have to tell me," I pleaded, wiping my tears away with my free hand. I can't believe I was fucking crying again.

"It doesn't matter, you didn't do anything. I don't know why I expected you to remember," he murmured sadly, moving off my lap and sitting next to me on the floor, his hand still clasped in mine.

"What was I supposed to remember!"

"Nothing. No one ever does."

"What are you talking about?!" He turned to look at me.

"It's nothing, stop talking about it - okay?" I sighed heavily and squeezed his hand, while looking at the ground.

"Fine. But I'm not going to forget this."

We sat in silence for a few minutes underneath the eaves of the school, watching leaves blow about the ground. I carefully removed my hand from Kenny's and turned it over, inspecting the damage. He looked at me warily as I traced the broken skin, which was covered in dried blood. "Please don't hide things from me, okay? I care." I surprised myself with those words. Since when did Craig Tucker become so lame? Kenny smiled sadly at me.

"Thanks." I let go of his hand and grabbed a handful of snow, letting it wash the blood off both his hand and mine before turning away and pulling my cigarettes and lighter out of my pocket. I lit one for myself before passing them over to Kenny. I was going to ignore whatever happened just then for now, but I was going to get to the bottom of it. This was taking my first priority over confessing to him.

"Do you ever think about the future?" I asked, breaking the comfortable silence. Kenny stared at me and took a drag on his cigarette.

"What do you mean?"

"Who you'll be with, what you'll be doing, where you'll be - shit like that." He looked thoughtful for a moment and I watched him blow smoke into the air.

"I hope to be out of this shit town, making enough money so I can get my parents to rehab and let Karen live a normal life." He paused to take another drag on the cigarette, "I also want to settle down with the guy of my dreams and live a carefree, happy life together."

"Do you have a guy in mind?" Kenny smiled and turned away, his blue eyes staring off into the distance.

"I do, but he keeps sending me weird signals and he's always really hard to read. We've already confessed our love for each other but he'll never remember the moment - unlike me." I stare at him in shock and open my mouth to ask who the hell he was talking about before I was interrupted by the siren. Kenny stood up and stamped his cigarette out on the floor. "See you later, Fucker," he mumbled, pulling his hood up and walking back into the school building.


	14. Chapter 14

"Craig!" I whirled around hopefully, looking to catch a glimpse of Kenny's orange parka. I hadn't seen him since this morning, I guess he went home. I narrowed my eyes at the on coming figure and turned away.

"Fuck off Stan." I heard a groan of annoyance as he picked up speed and began walking along side me.

"Where's Kenny?" He asked, ignoring the fact I didn't want to talk to him.

"Why do you think I would know?" I snapped, picking up my pace. He adjusted his own pace to keep up.

"Um, you're always hanging out with him?"

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." I pushed through the entrance of the school with Stan still stuck to my side.

"Just fuck off."

"What happened between you two?" I stopped in my tracks and Stan turned around to look at me.

"Nothing happened."

"Really."

"Yes."

"Well he seemed pretty cut up about something on the bus this morning -" Stan was cut off by Kyle who came running up to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey Kyle," murmured Stan softly, planting a kiss on his boyfriend's nose. Kyle blushed slightly and moved back from the taller boy, finally noticing me.

"Oh um, hey Craig," he said, his blush intensifying. I snorted and flipped him off. Stan wrapped his arm around Kyle's waist and turned to face me again.

"I was just asking Craig if he knew where Kenny was," he explained. Fuck, it looks like I'm not off the hook. Kyle looked at me in interest, leaning against Stan.

"Do you?"

"No, I haven't seen him since this morning."

"Dude, we fucking saw you go behind the science block after him!" Snapped Stan.

"I didn't fucking know he was there!" I shouted.

"But you were still around there with him!"

"Fine! Fuck! Fine, he was fucking crying okay and I don't know why! Happy?"

"Crying?" Questioned Kyle.

"Yes!" I snapped.

"And you didn't think to ask him what was wrong?" I grit my teeth together.

"I did. But he wouldn't fucking tell me!" Stan sighed.

"He wouldn't tell us either." Wait, what. I relaxed my posture and looked down at the two of them.

"So I haven't done anything?" Shit, I didn't mean to say that. Both of them stared at me.

"What do you mean?" Asked Stan, "what could you have possibly done to him?"

"Nothing." He looked like he wanted to say more but Kyle silenced him with a look. Thank god for Jew boy. "Can I go now?" I asked, gesturing towards the doorway that they were both blocking. They moved out of my way and I stepped out onto the path.

"He likes you, you know. And I know you like him. Just go for it," whispered Stan as I passed him. I widened my eyes and flipped him off, power walking away from him. Shit, was it that noticeable? I could hear him laughing as I left the gates and began to walk home. Talking to them had caused me to miss the bus.

"Hey, Craig," mumbled Kenny, stepping out from behind the gates and falling in step beside me. I jumped in shock before flipping him off. He laughed humourlessly and turned to face me. "I need to tell you something." I stopped walking and lifted my head to look at him. Was he going to tell me what I did?

"What is it." He sighed and pulled his hood down, his brilliant blue eyes meeting mine. I bit my lip as I stared at his perfect jaw and cheek bones. Why didn't he remove his hood around me more often...

"I can't die." Kenny's voice snapped me back into reality. I rubbed my eye and stared down at him.

"You what?"

"I can't die," he repeated, his voice steady as he looked me in the eye. What the fuck?

"Are you fucking high?" I snapped.

"No, I seriously can't die. I got hit by a truck on Saturday morning, you were there to see it all. And here I am, perfectly fine."

"Kenny, this is the stupidest fucking thing anyone has ever told me. All I want is for you to tell me what's wrong with you, okay? Not some stupid made up shit story!" I shouted, stalking away from him. He hesitated for a second before racing to catch up with me.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop, "I-I got hammered over the weekend and I was just feeling delicate. Fucking pussy, I know," he flashed me a hopeful crooked smile.

"I fucking cried over you! And you were just drunk?! Fuck you dude, fuck you," I spat, wrenching myself out of his grasp and striding quickly away from him.

"Craig!"

"Fuck yourself McCormick," I growled, flipping him off and breaking into a sprint.


	15. Chapter 15

I could hear Kenny shouting after me, but I ignored him and ran until I could no longer hear him. My foot steps echoed up the empty pathway as I slowed to a brisk walk. What a dick. What kind of half-baked shit story was he trying to fool me with? I angrily slammed my front door shut and stalked past Ruby up the stairs to my room. "A lovers quarrel?" She joked.

"Fuck off, you shit," I growled slamming my bedroom door shut and locking it behind me. Was Kenny going to constantly be pulling this bullshit? Do I want to bother falling in love with someone like that? I sighed to myself and I flopped down on my bed. Fuck him.

I must've passed out at some point because I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. "Fuck," I groaned, peeling off my shirt and trousers before crawling back into bed. Fuck school, I'm not going. I was in no mood to face the fake assholes there and a particularly fake asshole who wears an orange parka.

"Get up asswipe!" Shrieked Ruby, bashing on my door which was still locked from when I came home last night.

"I'm not going, fuck off!" I yelled back. There was a few seconds of silence and I thought she might've done the smart thing for once and left me alone.

"This...hasn't got anything to do with a certain parka wearing blond, does it?" She eventually said, caution evident in her voice.

"No."

"Okay," she sounded like she didn't believe me but she said nothing more. I listened for the sound of her locking the front door before I finally relaxed. I shut my eyes against my brightening room. Maybe if was best to just forget about Kenny? My throbbing skull seemed to think so and with that thought in mind I drifted back to sleep.

My sleep was feverish and dreamless. Black and red flashed through my head in time with a rapid knocking sound. My eyes snapped open and a wave of dizziness passed through my body forcing me to lie back down. I panted slightly as my heart rate returned to normal, but I could still hear the knocking sound. Confused, I reached out my bed and pulled open the window to reveal Kenny McShithead hanging from the sill. "Ugh, you," I spat, "come to tell me more stupid stories? I'm not in the fucking mood to hear them." Kenny looked slightly hurt, good.

"I just want to talk and I figured you wouldn't come to school today. Can I come in?"

"No." He narrowed his eyes and readjusted his grip so he wouldn't fall. How the fuck did he even get to my motherfucking second storey window, anyway? I mean it was nice to see his glorious biceps flexing in an - nope, nope. I'm over him.

"Fine, I'll just hang from you window sill - like an idiot."

"I didn't ask you to." I leant my head against the headboard of my bed as another dizzy spell rushed through me. Kenny looked at me closely.

"Hey, are you...alright?"

"Just peachy," I snapped, waving my hand in dismissal, "now tell me your fake-ass story before I throw you out my fucking window." He paused for a moment.

"I really can't die."

"Oh my god! Not this bullshit again -" I began before he cut me off.

"No, I'm serious. It's the truth and I know you won't believe me but part of me hoped you would. I made it worse by lying about getting drunk to cover it, but I couldn't stand the fact that you didn't remember me dying."

"Because you didn't, you shit." He sighed sadly.

"Look, I don't care if you believe me or not. I just want to erase what happened and start a fresh. I don't want to lose you because I can't handle me emotions."

"So you're telling me that I don't have to believe you, as long as I forgive you?" I groaned, holding onto my head as another dizzy spell flashed through me

"Yeah, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine!" I snapped, "I don't believe your bullshit story but I seriously don't care anymore. If you want forgiveness, you've got it because I'll want to do is sleep now."

"Wait, you forgive me?" He asked in disbelief. Goddamn, I'm going to regret this later. My brain was screaming at me to sleep and I just needed a quick escape.

"Sure." I lay back down on my bed and covered my head with my arm. Kenny said something that sounded like 'can I go now'. "Yes," I replied, hoping he'd just leave me alone.

There was a rustling noise in my window and I opened my eyes to see Kenny pull himself through my window like a fucking God. His blond hair shone in the sunlight and his biceps glistened. "What are you doing." Kenny paused.

"Coming in?" Fuck, is that what I agreed to? I was starting to think Kenny was extremely lucky that I was half dead or I would've thrown him out the window ten minutes ago.

"I'm going back to sleep - you know that, right?" I asked, watching him pull himself through the window and onto my bed.

"I'll sleep with you," he said simply, laying down beside me. Fuck yeah, I loved sleeping with him! I just felt so relaxed and - 'Stupid fucking fever,' I growled in my head, turning to face the poor boy. The sudden movement sent another wave of dizziness through my body and I shut my eyes.

"I-I'm going to sleep now," I groaned, praying he wouldn't ask if I was okay again or I would actually throw him out the window.

"Okay," he yawned, wrapping his arms around me and allowing me to bury my face in his shirt, "I'll stay right here." Part of me was grateful for that as I breathed in his smoky scent and sleep took over my body. Despite the fact he was a prick, I needed this kind of support and comfort in my life.


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up feeling refreshed and warm. My headache and dizziness had all but disappeared, I could still feel a faint throbbing in the back of my head. I was lying on my back with Kenny resting his head on my chest. He looked so cute and peaceful as he slept, maybe he needed this as much as I did. My clock on my night stand told me it was 4:47pm. "Craig?" Murmured Kenny in the sexiest morning voice I've ever heard. My heart fluttered in my chest and I wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it.

"Yeah?"

"What's the time?"

"Nearly 5," I said, sighing to myself. Kenny hummed and wrapped his arm tighter around my torso. My heart began beating even faster than before and I was starting to question if he was deaf.

"Wait - 5?!" He shot upright, "Fuck! I've got to go! I'll see you at school tomorrow Craig, okay?"'before I had a chance to respond, he scrambled out my window and dashed off down the darkening street. What the fuck?

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes. That was weird but what was even weirder was the fact that I'd forgive Kenny so quickly. I guess this was a sign. I should just accept that I'll never get over him and he's an attractive motherfucker - if I don't confess soon, I won't have anyone to confess to.


	17. Chapter 17

"Hello shithead," greeted Kenny as he sat down beside me. I rolled me eyes and flipped him off.

"Where the fuck did you go yesterday." He hesitated for a second before his eyes flicked to the ground.

"I was supposed to go and pick Karen up at 5 because my parents were staying in rehab overnight," he muttered awkwardly. Shit, what?

"Oh," I murmured.

"Yeah, how were you after I left?"

"Fine, I went back to sleep." He nodded and I shuffled slightly closer to him. 'Now or never Tucker,' I thought.

"Ditch first period and meet me in the single toilet in the maths block." I murmured, my heart pounding in my chest. Kenny made a happy noise and enthusiastically gave me the thumbs up. Jesus Christ, how lame can you get.

As soon as I got off the bus, I was greeted with the sight of Clyde and Destiny grinding against each other. Great. I made gagging noises at them as I joined Token and Tweek. Tweek was screeching about them catching herpes or some shit. "Where the fuck were you yesterday?" Asked Token, "you're skipping a lot."

"I was sick, you prick." His face softened.

"Ah, sorry dude." I flipped him off.

"I'm going to skip economics to smoke." Token narrowed his eyes.

"To smoke?"

"Yes."

"Craig we all know what's going on." I froze.

"What." Token smiled and patted me on the shoulder as the siren rang pierced through the air.

"You can do it, good luck," he said, heading off to economics. Tweek was joined by Clyde and Destiny who waved to me and began walking to geography together. Was everyone aware of my major crush on Kenny except me? I shook my head and headed towards maths, I'd worry about that later.

I stepped inside the single maths toilet and shut the door behind me. It was a single cubicle and no one ever came near it so I knew we wouldn't be interrupted. I was going to fucking confess to him. I leant against the wall opposite the door and rubbed my shoe along the ground. Now to wait.

"Hey," said McWhoredick, entering and locking the door behind him. "What's up?" I clenched my jaw and looked at the floor.

"I have to tell you something," I said, keeping my voice at its usual monotone. He pulled his hood down and his brilliant blue eyes met mine.

"Lay it on me." I fiddled with my lip ring and stared at the floor.

"Look... About Saturday," Kenny looked at me in interest, lowering the toilet lid and sitting down, "I-I finally accepted who I was."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I always knew I was different - y'know, sexually. I never really liked girls and stuff. I knew liking guys wasn't normal and I knew if people like Cartman found out, they'd beat the shit out of me. I suppressed it and denied it for years. I know I told you I wasn't gay and then kissed you, but I've finally realised how I feel and there's no way to change it. I'm gay." Kenny looked at me in shock.

"I never expected you would admit it," he murmured. I laughed bitterly.

"Neither did I." Kenny smirked.

"Remember when I told you I had a guy in mind that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with?" I nodded emotionlessly, "Well it looks like he's stopped giving mixed signals and accepted who he is." I stared at him wordlessly. How the fuck did I not pick up on that? I opened my mouth to say something and stopped as Kenny stood up and moved closer to me. His blue eyes twinkled as he looked up at me and my breath hitched in my throat.

"What were you going to say?" He murmured in my ear. I shivered.

"It was really gay." He pulled back from me.

"Dude, what the fuck? I really can't get any gayer, just say it!" I smirked slightly.

"Kenny McCormick, will you be my boyfriend?" Kenny smiled a genuine smile and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Gladly," he answered before smashing his lips to mine.

Our lips moved in sync as he slowly pushed me against the wall and tangled his hands in my black hair, removing my hat in the process. I closed my eyes in pleasure and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt him smile against my lips and I pulled him tighter against me. As cliché as I sounds, I actually felt whole. I felt like everything was right again. All the shit that had happened in the last week, melted away as we practically made out in Maths Block E, bathroom 2.

The siren rang and I groaned as Kenny pulled away. "That was totally worth it," he murmured, kissing me once more before handing me my hat back.

"Yeah, it was," I sighed, leaning against the bathroom wall and putting my hat back on my head. Kenny paused in pulling up his hood.

"You wanna just skip?" Heck fucking yes I wanted to skip! What more was I even going to do at school anyway? Scream for twenty years because we were now dating?

"Yeah." Kenny smiled and grabbed hold of my hand. I felt myself blush slightly as he lead me into the deserted hallway. The class changes had finished.

"Hey! Where d-" Cartman turned the corner wearing a hall monitor sash. His eyes were fixed on our intertwined hands. I flipped him off coldly. "Fucking fags!" He yelled striding towards us, "No fags in my hall!" I clenched my teeth and Kenny gripped my hand tightly.

"Fuck off Cartman."

"No! I'm the hall monitor! You have respect my authoritah!" Growling, Kenny lifted his foot and kicked Cartman in his tiny balls. Pain contorted his face and he fell to the ground screaming as Kenny yanked me out the school building.

We burst into the street laughing our heads off. "D-Did you see his face?!" Laughed Kenny, still holding my hand.

"Respect my authority my ass!" I shouted, flipping off the building where the fat kid was probably still lying on the floor, screaming. Our laughter died down as we walked out the school gates. "So where to now?"

"I know exactly where we can go," smiled Kenny, letting his hood down and pulling me along side him. I smiled and followed him, watching his blond hair wave about in the wind. I was starting to regret not accepting myself sooner. I mean imagine what we could be doing if I'd admitted my feeling a week ago. We can't turn back time so I might as well look to the future and be thankful for what I've got.


End file.
